“Now! Tell me now because I’ve got two of ours in fuckin’ God knows where and they’re being hunted. Tell me what the fuck made you think it was okay to send them any-fuckin’-where.” Jesus. He’s ready to hit me. “You telling me I head up Protectors made me think you meant it. I’m doing the job you gave me, but I’m fighting everyone’s assumption that I’m still a fuck-up. If you’d take a fuckin’ minute and listen I can explain.” Fuck! He’s got his hand wrapped around my neck and I’m slammed against the wall before I can even register he moved. “I don’t give a fuck whose family you are. I deserve more respect than I’ve seen out of you. If you can’t get it together then drop the fuckin’ cut now.” What? I’ve given him respect. I’m trying to think of when I’ve been disrespectful to him then just give up. “You know what, take it. You’re not listening, but threatening me. Take the fuckin’ cut and I’ll go back to the school with the kids. Pick someone you trust to lead the Protectors because I’m not it and I’m fuckin’ tired of having to prove myself. I’m done.” He steps back shocked. As soon as his hand loosens I move breathing heavy. He knows what putting his hands on me does. Walking down the hall I shrug the cut off and send it back to him. “I’ll be waiting in the locker room for the kids when they’re done. Hawk will stay with them.” “Christian!” Shit is flying through his head. I spin around pissed. “No Prez. It’s not so easy walking away! It hasn’t been a fuckin’ week in the job I didn’t ask for! I’ve done everything for both the MC and Princes since I was eleven fuckin’ years old! I’ve given up everything I get for both Clubs and I just started getting that level of commitment back from you. No one gave me shit before I got here. Now I’m told to move to a job that no one wants me in. I jumped when you told me too. I even asked how fuckin’ high, but it’s not enough. Fuck that. I was happy where I was. I don’t need the Brothers or Officers bringing me down again. Take your doubt, your threats and the fuckin’ cut that I worked so hard to earn. I’m fuckin’ out.” When I turn Jessie and Taylor are standing here. I walk by and head to the locker room. Walking the tunnels will calm me. I throw to Brantley that I’m heading down and disable the sensors. Jeremy is in my head, but I stop him. ‘I need a fuckin’ minute. Nothing you say will change this right now. Give me that. I promise I’ll always help to keep Aubrey safe Brother. Just give me a fuckin’ minute.’ He quiets and I walk. Since I was a kid I’ve gotten this shit and have always given them everything. It was to the point that I was so disconnected I only saw my family after they escaped the shit that I saw. People would get pissed when I didn’t tell them shit so I stopped showing for most of that too. Jacob was the only one that saw what was happening and tried to help. He didn’t get the process of the ancestors so what I gave him hurt him, but didn’t change anything for me. I stopped that too. He was younger than me and didn’t need my shit in his head. It would have been helpful if anyone took a fuckin’ minute to explain the ancestors to me, maybe how to use meditation, or some training on the reading. I got help right at first, but nothing after. When I came to the Compound, I finally learned all that shit and have been training to grow my abilities. It hits me how fuckin’ long that took and I’m pissed all over again. I was a fuckin’ kid. I’ll make sure the kids get it and never walk with that depression or feelings of not being good enough to get the extra training. I’ll give it to them myself and fuck what the Brothers think. They haven’t done a fuckin’ thing, but train me for two years. While I’m grateful and appreciate the ability to see and use the ancestors, I worked for a fuck of a lot longer for them than they ever did for me. A peace settles over me as I walk back from the waterfront. The kids will be ready to go soon. I push everything from my head and shield so nothing comes in or goes out. I need some space from the Club and all the shit they throw. I wait at the door and see Done disable the sensors. I brace myself because Prez, Darren, Jessie and Dakota are waiting with the kids. When the door opens, Hawk moves to my side. I don’t know whether to say Brothers or not so I throw chin and reach for Nash. “Thanks, we’re good if you can help them down the stairs.” “We need some time with you Brother,” Dakota says. I smile. “I wasn’t sure if I say, ‘Brothers’ so I just threw chin. I need to get them back. My job is them. I’ll do that to the best of my ability. No one had a problem with me when I did that job.” 
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